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How to Stop Being a People-Pleaser

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But, it is a very common problem. So you might be wondering: what makes a people pleaser? Fear of rejection or abandonment drives pretty much everything a people pleaser does. Taking the temperature of a room ie, tuning into how a situation feels.

Are you a people pleaser? I was! In fact, growing up, I majored in pleasing others. So I worked at being indispensable. My pattern of over-giving had great benefits—or so I thought. All my relationships were one-sided: me the giver of time after that favors and others happy to accept my generosity.

People-pleasing might not sound all that abysmal. But people-pleasing generally goes beyond austere kindness. You might go out of your way to do things designed for the people in your life, based on what you assume they absence or need. You give up your time and energy to get them to like you. Myers says this is how people-pleasing can cause agitate. People pleasers often deal with at a low level self-esteem and draw their self-worth as of the approval of others.

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